I can't really say that I actually have too many problems these days. Sure we get a little drama here and there, but it's usually nothing serious and tends to blow over pretty quick. Mainly because I just don't care to dwell on it anymore. Which is different for me because drama used to be a part of my every day life. It was insane. Not so much anymore. I feel like a large part of that is attributed to D. He gave me the back bone to stand up and say if you're going to pull into your miserable life, I want nothing to do with you.
I can definitely tell you about a problem in the past though. And that is picking the wrong guy.
I had a dream last night about Gaige's SD. He was sitting in my living room with some new girlfriend that I was meeting for the first time. He was telling me that he wanted to take Gaige for the weekend. Without a second thought I looked at his girlfriend (whom remember I've never before) and said, You're going to be there the whole time right? and then I asked him if he was going to be staying with his parents while he had him. Which is basically telling me that I don't trust him any further than I could throw him when it comes to my kid.
What I don't understand is why the hell I would choose to have a child with someone I don't even trust with the kid! Well, I mean it's not like we planned on getting pregnant two months into dating, but still. What the hell Kristin?
And he wasn't even the first or last guy I chose to have a relationship with that was absolutely untrustworthy and completely wrong for me.
Before him there was the guy I lost my V card to. Turns out he was already seeing someone. So yeah that's good to know right? Blah. Then there was Mike, who had multiple girls on the side but had a girl he was stringing along for years. Oh! Then my idiot 18 year old self decided "dating" his friend Jason would be a good idea. What kind of girl does that? Both guys were a horrible idea. Horrible.
After I had Gaige I dated a guy that lived an hour away (met him online of course). He was obsessed with his ex wife and I was just oblivious to it. Even though he was totally stalking her. He ended up cheating on me with the girl his best friend was cheating on his wife with lol. Such a shit show.
I don't know what made me think any of these guys were a good idea at the time. Was my self esteem really that low? I really needed to be with a guy that treated me like I was replaceable? Did I really think that I needed to go through all that drama with them and then we'd be together forever?
18 year old Kristin was a damn moron.
But then I met D. And I'm not going to say we haven't been through some tough situation, but they were worth it and they made us stronger. And now we're happy. And he never treated me like he could do better or that there was someone else out there for him. H and I both knew we weren't going to find anyone else to make either of us feel as content as we feel with each other.
So there you have it. A problem I used to have.
0 comments:
Post a Comment