January 19, 2015

{Hes not a Baby Anymore}

*tear* *sniffle* *sob*
My baby isn't a baby anymore. When did that happen? How is he so big already?
It seems like just the other day I was holding both of his hands while he walked across the living room.

I see this the most when he's going into or coming out of school. I hate that he's growing up so fast.
I miss that little baby. But I don't miss all the things that came along with him. The sleepless nights, needing the diaper bag everywhere I went, and the sore nipples from his constant nursing.
Sometimes when I think about it I get the urdge to have another baby. There are so many things I didn't get to experience with Owen and Gaige. I want a baby girl too. Then I slap myself and remind myself that I'm 31 and as it is I'll be in my early 40s when he is 18. I'll still be young enough to go do things I've wanted to do. If I have another baby now, I'll never do anything.
Is that selfish of me? I started out at 18. I didn't get my 20s and on...is it wrong that I would want to have my 40s and on? *sigh*
I think I'll leave the baby making to my brothers and sister (who I don't think want any more either lol).