April 3, 2017

{I Caught My Daughter Stealing}

Dawn has gotten to the point of entitlement where she is now taking things that don't belong to her, just because she wants them. For years she has done things just because she wanted to with no regard for rules. But this is something new. Or at least something I've never noticed her doing before. Not to this scale anyway. Sure she would swipe a DS from the boys when she was grounded from hers, but I've never known her to actually steal from an adult before. Until now.

I admit the items she took were not important. They were not expensive at all. But it wasn't so much the items she took but the actual act of taking what she knew she wasn't supposed to have that upset me the most.

Dawn got her nail polish taken from here shortly after she got it for Christmas. She's messy with it, and so we told her that she can only do her nails at the table. This way if she gets polish all over, it wouldn't be on her sheets (which is why she got her polish taken from her before...this was a second chance..and her last). She didn't like this rule, and took her polish upstairs again. I confiscated it. I put it in my room and then borrowed one of the colors later and it ended up on the shelf in the living room near where I sit to do my nails most of the time. It was there for a good long time without her messing with it. Until the other day when she had a hole in her sock and I noticed that she had blue polish on her toes. I knew that I hadn't given her permission to use any of it, so she should have had naked toes. Anyway, she claimed it was still there from months ago, before she had gotten it taken away lol. I knew otherwise.

Later that same night I was going through my purse to find something or another and realized that the Minnie Mouse pen we'd purchased on our Disney trip was missing. It was bought for Dawn but after she told us that we hardly ever buy her anything after our trip, I took her souvenirs. She obviously didn't appreciate them. I threw the pen in my purse, knowing if it was sitting around the house she would take off with it. I had no reason to believe that she would actually go into my purse and get it. I was wrong.

When I realized she had gone into my bag, I went up to her room to confront her. I found the polish she had taken in a small basket under hair ties in her room. When I asked her about the pen she swore up and down that she had no idea where it was and that she didn't have it. But since she lied to me about the polish, I didn't believe her. So I went through her book bag. What did I find? The pen. In her pencil bag.

When I questioned her about why she thought she could go into my bag and get the pen, she said Well it was mine in the first place. Which is true. But that doesn't give anyone the right to go into someone else's property and just take something they want. I would have never gone into my grandmother's purse without her permission. She would have had my ass  to be honest lol. I explained to her that when I took the souvenirs they were no longer hers. That she had no right to go into my personal property to retrieve anything. Of course she didn't see it that way. She still doesn't.

The next morning I explained to her that I was completely disappointed in her. That I never thought in a million years that I would have to worry about my children stealing from my bag. Or from me period. I didn't know what else to say.

To say that I'm at a loss with this girl is an understatement. She is so extremely self entitled and self absorbed. And I know that the entitlement is partly our fault. We buy her nice clothes and make sure she has nice things and a cute room to hang out in. We give in to her a lot more than she realizes. When we ground her from something it doesn't last as long as it needs to. Mainly because we hate buying things that don't get used! She hasn't had her phone in months, which means we're paying for a line that hasn't been used. But every time she gets it back, there is so much attitude that follows.

When I was a kid, my grandma used to say kids don't run my house, I run my house. And I live by that. Our kids want for pretty much nothing. D works hard to make sure of that. I think a lot of her issue is that she has always thought of herself as a little princess and that no one should be able to tell her what to do. That she should only ever get things she wants and that she should always be allowed to do as she pleases. This was learned behavior from a member of the family, who thought the same way (that Dawn was a princess and should never be punished).

I cried to D the morning after I confronted her. I asked him if I was a good mom. Because she hates me and it's obvious. That she would disrespect me  in such a way made me think that I was doing something wrong as a parent. So I went in search of help. D is at the end of his rope too.

That's when I found this post from a mom going through something similar. So I took her idea and ran with it.