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April 8, 2016

{Irrational Fears}

Everyone has them. Some people are scared of the dark, spiders, of being alone in a house at night. Some people are crazy. I'm not. I don't think my fear is that irrational really.

So I've hidden this pretty well since I was a kid. No one knew how bad my fear actually was until about three years ago. I had an actual freak out moment with D and Cassie (his daughter) in the car. There may actually still be video of it floating around the internet somewhere because Cassie thought it would be hilarious to record me. Pfft. Whatever.

So my fear is..being trapped in the water in a car. See? Not really that irrational. That shit is scary to think about!

I'm not sure what brought on this fear. I've never been scared of the water and I've never been in a situation where I was actually trapped in a car (not that I'm aware of anyway).

Maybe it comes from the fact that my grandpa was a complete worrier. Like full on scared that something would happen to one of us. So he bought these hammers specifically made for breaking car windows. He told us when we were kids that if we were to ever be in a car and under water, that we should break the window with that. It also had a side that cut the seat belts I think. It scared the crap out of me.

Ever since then I've be scared to be trapped in a car in the water. So naturally when D was getting close to that boat ramp where my first freak out happened, I started to get nervous. He wasn't really even that close but anything can go wrong. We could have easily ended up in the water. And me without that damn hammer!

A couple weeks ago we were driving down by a part of the river I was not familiar with and the minute we came up over a hill and I saw the water I got nervous. Like white knuckling the car door nervous. We weren't even near the boat ramp. But at the top of the small hill we were driving over it looked like if we kept going we would be in the water in seconds. I was not down with that. I flipped out again. I was tearing up and telling him to turn around and I didn't want to be there anymore.

He thought it was hilarious. He sees no reason for me to be scared of something like that, but there I was, flipping out like a crazy person because I was getting too close to the water while still in the car.

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