April 6, 2016

{Don't Judge Me}

I have never been a mom that was so opinionated about everything that I would fight with people over why my parenting decisions were better than theirs. To be honest I think that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen go down in my life (now you call a dog a teacup and I'm ready to throw down..but that's a different story all together lol).

When debates come up about breast vs bottle, I can see both sides. Why? Because I did both. I wanted to nurse Gaige and was told my boobs were too big, had I been more educated maybe I would have told that nurse to blow it out her ass, but I wasn't so I formula fed him. And that's OK. Because he's no less happy or healthy for it. I was more educated when it came to having Owen and I knew I could do it and I had a support system in my friends that helped me stick with it. I breast fed in public too! Shocking! But if that's not for you, then you do you boo. Simple as that. No skin off my back. You want to pump instead of feed straight from the tap? That's your decision too. Once again, not my kid, my opinion doesn't matter.

Then of course there was always the debate over how long to breast feed. I nursed Owen for almost three years. And I don't regret a single damn second of it. I loved it. And it worked for us. And since I'm the one that was whipping out a boob every time he lifted up my shirt, I guess it was my decision to make. Right? But you'd be shocked at how many people (including my mother) who kept asking me when I was going to stop and asking if he was going to go to school still nursing. Look people, if I wanted to send him to pre-k with a damn thermos of breast milk, he's my kid and I'll do as I please. Just like it's your choice to stop nursing at a year or not to not nurse at all.

Don't even get me stated on the really controversial stuff like vaccinating (which I did, but delayed) or circumcision (also did it). They're my boys. They're my kids. So far neither of them have come to me and said "Mom, I'm really pissed at you for having that doctor cut off my foreskin." You know why? Cause they don't give a rats ass! And I'm going to bet that they're not going to care when they're older either. Maybe I'm wrong. We'll cross that I hate you for mutilating me bridge when we come to it. But I certainly don't need people to try to make me feel like a bad mother because I chose to do it. Just like I'm not going to make you feel like a shitty parent for not doing it. Your kid. Your choice. Right?

Then there's the debates about screen time. I don't know, I guess I'm just a laid back (or maybe a lazy) parent. But I don't limit my kids screen time. They know what they can watch and what they can't. It gets turned off at a certain time at night. But they have a TV in their toy room that's on all the time. And guess what? Half the time it's just on as background noise. They're not even watching it! I don't limit the amount of time they play video games either. I do monitor what kind of video games they play, but even if I let them play whatever they wanted, that's my choice. They're not going to be dumber because they played Call of Duty. I'm not a bad parent because I let them. You want to know a secret? Owen learned to read faster because of the video games. So there's that. But don't judge me because my kids are allowed to have unlimited screen time. It works for my family and it's OK that it doesn't work for yours. I don't care.

So how about we stop bitching at each other and constantly judging other moms? How about we start supporting one another. Because guess what? Being a mom is hard! Whether you nurse or formula feed, work or stay home, vax or don't, or circ or don't. It takes support to get through parenting. So settle the hell down about it all and just accept the fact that everyone has the right to choose their children are raised and how they want to parent them. Deal with it.

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