I wasn't going to post about this for some unknown reason but I've decided to go ahead and let whomever reads this blog weigh in on what they think I should have done.
As you know today was the 2nd day of school. I was prepared for some tears and maybe a small melt down. I wasn't too worried about it though because I have confidence in Little Boys teacher. She got him to calm down the first day and he likes her. I knew she could handle it. I figured I would help him put away his things and then hug him goodbye. Just like I did yesterday. That is not how it went down and it set the tone for my whole day..and Little Boys too.
When I reached the Kindergarten hallway a teacher (the same teacher G had to help with his reading last year) stopped me and said that I had to say goodbye right there and I couldn't walk to the room with him. This was the first I'd heard about this policy. It wasn't in any hand out and it wasn't voiced at any time by anyone. I tried to get Little Boy to put on his backpack and walk down alone but he wouldnt. I tried to tell him it was OK and that he was going to see his teacher and everything would be fine. I would come pick him up after school just like the day before. But he was having none of it. He is not used to being without me and when he's upset I'm the one he wants. So I just took his hand and started walking down the hall...the teacher stopped me again and said I couldn't do that. I stood there for a good 10min before the principal (the same one that was completely rude to me the minute G became a problem for him last year) came over and offered to walk with him. Little Boy was still having none of it. He wanted me and that was it. It was another few minutes of standing there, and the principal pulling on him trying to get him to leave me (he must have thought I would just walk away and let him drag my kid down the hall...I think not) and telling me maybe I should just disappear. To which I said no and he tried to pull him again and that was when Little Boy let out a "someone is murdering me" scream. I couldn't handle it anymore. I picked him up and carried him to the room. The whole time the principal is behind me calling "ma'am" like that's going to stop me in my tracks. I just said "I can't" and walked in the room.
The minute his teacher saw me she got up and knew exactly what to do. How did she know? Because she did it yesterday and because he is warming up to her just fine. (I love his teacher by the way). I hugged him and let him go and I have no doubt that within 20min he was fine again. Just like the day before.
I was so upset that I cried the entire way back out the door and the entire way home and I was still crying later. Writing this I'm even starting to tear up. Little Boy has literally been with me or family his whole life. He has been with someone else twice and that was Wednesday and today. That's it. To just assume he was going to let go of me so quick is stupid. And I am not one of those mothers that is just going to let this shit happen and not be pissed off about it. Had someone told me that he would be expected to walk by himself on the 2nd day of school I would have prepared him for that. But to just stop parents at the door and say you can't go with them..don't they think that would cause more problems than it would help?? I mean really. What's the point of not letting them be walked by their parent? Its not hurting anyone at all. Is it to keep the traffic down? Probably not. I honestly feel like it was just them being assholes.
Now I've spoken with Little Boy about walking to the room tomorrow alone. I'm Hoping we can get there early enough that his teacher or her helper is there to walk with him. I suspect tears are just a part of it (from me and him) but a screaming fit can be avoided and should be at all costs.
I do not want this to be his memory of his first day of school. I do not want another kid that hates school and fights me on going every single day the way G did last year. I want Little Boy to love it or at least enjoy it. This is the year that he is going to decide if he hates it or not I don't want anyone ruining this for him.
So am I being over sensitive about this? What would you have done?
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