March 20, 2014

{Trust and the Teenager}

Tonight Cassie (16 almost 17) came to me and asked what friends she is actually grounded from. I told her that she isn't necessarily grounded from friends. She just isn't allowed to go do anything since we don't trust her. I also told her that she has only been in our house for 3 weeks. There is no way you can earn someone's trust back in that amount of time.

She said we can see where she's at with Google+ (which I set up so that I knew she got to school) or the library which are the only 2 places she is really allowed to go. But that needs WiFi to work, and although her friends house might have WiFi that doesn't mean she will only go places with WiFi. Which make it pointless to look at the app.

Then she said that she could just text us where she's going (she has my old s3 and uses a texting app because it has no data attached to it). But she could easily lie about that and we would be none the wiser. Sorry. I'm not giving her that opportunity. And I told her that. She claims she wouldnt lie to us but I'm not that dumb lol.

She asked me how she can earn our trust if she isn't allowed to do anything. And honestly I don't think I will ever trust her completely. Its that old saying "fool me once same on you, fool me twice shame on me." I'm not about to have that drama.
We basically want her to spend this time bringing her grades up and focusing on getting back on track for next year and graduating. I don't want to constantly worry that she's going to end up shoplifting again. Or that she's out drinking and going to end up in a car wreck. Ya know? I know that's not very much fun, but she should have thought about that before all the bs that happened over the last year at her moms. Not to mention the hell she put us through when she was coming over all the time.

So my question for you is, how do we go about letting her earn our trust back? Or as much trust as we can since we will always have our guard up with her.