October 9, 2014

{My Baby Fever is Killing Me!}

It's no surprise that I would have baby fever, I got it when Gaige and Dawn were about 5, and we ended up with Owen. Now Owen is 7 and I'm ready for another. But I'm also not ready for another. D and I all but made it official that we are not having any more kids. 5 between us is plenty and I honestly don't want to be pregnant again.

Apparently though my brain does not agree with my "no more babies" decision because it demands I have baby on the brain at all times. This is evident by my pinterest board. I didn't get to do so many of the things I wanted to with either pregnancies. I really wanted a water home birth, but I didn't get either. I did get to nurse, which I found to be a wonderful experience and I miss it terribly. All of this is probably why I had the "baby dream" last night.

If you follow me on facebook or twitter then you probably saw me mention it. I had the most real baby dream ever last night. It was kind of crazy.

I was pregnant, heavily pregnant. I went into labor and called D to tell him that he needed to come home. He assured me he would be right there and yet a couple hours later, he was nowhere to be found. Not answering his phone or returning my messages. Someone (I can't remember who) said we had to go to the hospital without him. I ended up having the baby before he showed up with a story about his boss not letting him leave. I don't believe that would happen. He would sooner walk out and lose his job before missing something like that.

Then again, he did go in to work instead of going with me to the hospital when I had Owen...drama.

And I had a girl. She was pretty big too lol. At least 8lb. (which makes sense because Owen was 7lb. 12oz). With dark hair. Her skin was a little darker too (I had the same dream when I was pregnant with Gaige only he was a boy obviously lol). Get this we named her..Charlotte Lorraine. I told everyone they could call her Charlie or Lottie.

What's funny about the name is that it's exactly (at least the first name) what I wanted to call Owen if he was a girl. Charlotte is one of my favorite names. I don't know where Lorraine came from. But Charlie obviously because Charlotte's are often called Charlie, and Lottie because a good family friend was named that. I would never make that a kids actual name, but I think it would be adorable as a nick name :).

Anyway- I woke up after naming her. I know I'm not pregnant. I'm not even wanting to be pregnant. I honestly don't think my body could take another pregnancy. Owens pregnancy put me through the ringer a little bit and I'm a firm believer if you have a rough one, it's time to call it quits. No sense in torturing yourself for another baby right? At least that's my belief. I know others don't feel the same and that's fine. It's their body not mine lol.

Does anyone else have "baby dreams" like that? I hope it wasn't a premonition of things to come in the near future.

We need to get another dog..


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