June 26, 2017

{Parent Is a Verb!}

I have been a parent for fifteen years. On top of the years I spent "parenting" my three younger siblings and babysitting from the age of twelve. And in my years I have noticed something so sad that I just had to write about it.

Parents today don't parent their kids.

It's a sad fact.

They're so caught up in their jobs, tv shows, social media, their own lives that they don't take the time to actually parent their kids.

Take my two oldest kids for example. I am well aware that most teenagers today have way more freedom than mine do. They're allowed to date, have girlfriends/boyfriend over to the house, some of them are even allowed to have boyfriends/girlfriends spend the night! Their parents don't know where they are, who they're with, or what they're doing until someone gets the cops called on them. And even if the parent does ask the important who/what/when/where questions, they don't follow through with checking into the kids plans or story.

Lets use Dawn as an example. On the last day of school this year she text and asked if she could walk around the park (right next to the high school) with her friend. I said sure. She then text and asked if she could go to this friends house. I said no. That she said she was going to be walking around the park, that that is what she needed to be doing. End of discussion. Later that day I happen to see her snaps (snapchat), and low and behold she is sitting in front of this girls house. When questioned about it she first said that she was walking and taking pictures in front of different houses, but that wasn't true because they never moved from in front of this particular house. As a result of her lying and trying to be shady about it, she's not allowed to walk with this girl anymore. I don't like sneaky kids. I don't tolerate being lied to. I'm not stupid. I was fifteen once myself...and it was before social media so you know I did more stupid shit that she could even dream of lol.

But I know other parents who would have never even known that their daughter disobeyed them because they're not even on their social media. They don't check their profiles, they don't know who they're talking to, and they don't know where they actually are when they leave the house. I know a mother that once said I let them make their own choices and they have to live with the consequences, well that's all fine and good lady but you have to actually teach them right from wrong. You have to be on top of what they're doing because they're not going to up front with you about half the stuff happening in their little bubble. Letting them deal with the consequences is great but there have to actually be consequences. And how are you know when to give those if you don't ever check on what they're up to?

We also recently ran into some issues with Gaige and a couple of the friends he has here in town. He has been friends with these two boys for a couple years and although we knew they were pretty much left to do as they pleased because their parents work, we thought they were good kids. Until some things went down and it came out that they were not parented at all. They were left to their own devices and weren't being taught how to make a good decision. So now he's not allowed to hang out with them at all. For any reason.

I am that mom checks her kids email, Facebook, texts, Instagram, Snapchat, and whatever other social media they have. Dawn doesn't even have the password for her Facebook anymore because she was logging on during school. I will not have that BS. Some might say I'm over protective, maybe it's because my grandparents were that way with me. Maybe it's because I'm super controlling. But to be honest, if it keeps my kids from getting arrested or being kidnapped, I'm fine with the helicopter mom label. It's a damn sight better than these moms I'm seeing letting their teenagers run lose all summer. Doing God knows what with God knows who.

My kids know that if they tell me they're going to the park, if I drive by and they're not at the park all hell will break lose.

I do not play games when it comes to my kids. I just don't.