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September 21, 2015

{Parades & Tears}

My sister convinced me that going to the parade a town over for their festival is something I needed to do. So Saturday we got up early and headed over to meet her, my nephew, my brother, and my niece. It was an OK time. Basically the same floats we saw in the parade last weekend here lol. 

Gaige ended up not wanting to get up and go..so he stayed at my grandparents house. After the parade, my sister and brother took their littles to the fair but I didn't bring cash with me so we just headed to my grandma's since I was dropping the kids off for the night anyway.

To my surprise though my grandma wasn't there when we got there. I hung out for about 10min and then realized that maybe was up at my grandpas shop. I hadn't been up there since before my grandpa passed. To be completely honest I didn't want to set foot in there. I didn't feel like it would be the same without him behind the counter. Come to find out, I was right. It's not the same. It looks so different now. But on the flip side of my sadness was the overwhelming calm I also felt there. I'm sure you'll think I'm crazy for this but it almost felt like I could feel him there. Like I could walk through the door to the office and see him standing there looking up a part behind the counter (in a huge book, no computers in this shop lol).

My sister and I have both had such a hard time with the changes that seemed to happen so fast at that shop. We felt like it was too soon. I still feel like it was too soon. But I can also see him smiling and saying how much better it looks. Saying how much he enjoys it being clean and organized. Saying he sure does appreciate those who helped get it done. It doesn't make it any easier to walk through and him not be there, but it helps to know that it would have made him smile. Ya know?

That is my cousin repairing the wall under the window. Someone ran into the corner of the building, breaking the window further and causing rain to damage the dry wall on the inside. So it all had to go.

My grandma bought those chips hanging there. I hung them. I cried while I did it. I miss him so much. I wish this would have happened when he could have enjoyed it and taken pride in it. I wish that he could have been there to micromanage the entire event lol. I wish I didn't have to wish anymore, because he'd be here.

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