March 1, 2017

{So That's What I'm Dealing With}

I wasn't sure if I wanted to blog about this because I don't discuss Gaige's sperm donor too much. I've voiced my annoyances about how he just left us and how he refuses to pay child support on a consistent basis. But that's all I think. Probably because that's all there is to say. If you've been following since around 2010, you might remember how he took me to court for visitation but never showed. That's the last time we had any contact at all. He was paying child support for all of 2015 (I think) and until June of 2016 but that stopped too. Probably because I got his income taxes (which happens when you're behind in child support payments). I know that's not a lot of information, but it's a run down of what's been going on the last few years.


Now to be fair, Sperm Donor's mother and step-dad, sister, and aunt have been on my facebook for years. His aunt and I have been in contact since Gaige was a baby. So not everyone in his family has walked out of his life. They don't see him, his mom and I got together a couple summers ago and let Gaige meet his half brother, but that's about it.

So when his mom messaged me the other night I didn't think too much of it. It's not uncommon for her to talk to me about Gaige. And I'm happy to give her updates/information. But our conversation this time was different. Because she was relaying a message from Sperm Donor. She said Sperm Donor's phone number. He wants you to call him but don't do it tonight he's drunk. I had zero idea why he would want to talk to me. But it didn't surprise me that he would be asking for me to call him when he's drunk. He's one of those drinkers that gets more courage the more he drinks. Any confrontation we've ever had has been when he's drunk (or high).  She also had no idea what he wanted me to call him for.

So I went right to my mommy group of course and it was pretty unanimous that I shouldn't open that can of worms. And after talking to my sister and to D about it, I decided not to call or message him. No matter how curious I was to hear what he had to say. When his mom asked a couple days later if I had called, I said no. That I thought Gaige was old enough to make the decision to contact him on his own.

So the next day I think, I noticed that Sperm Donor and Gaige were facebook friends. And they had messaged a little on facebook. Gaige asked for his number, Sperm Donor gave it and they text a little also. It was nothing exciting.

But something that annoyed me was that Sperm Donor wasn't honest with him. I try to be as honest as possible with Gaige about everything. He's not a baby anymore and he doesn't need anything sugar coated. Of course he doesn't know all the circumstances surrounding why his Sperm Donor wasn't around, but he knows the basics.

One of the things Gaige mentioned in his messages with him was if he still drinks. Now, remember how I said that his mom told me not to call him because he was drunk (her exact words were belligerent), he told Gaige that he hardly ever drinks anymore. *Eye Roll* I smell bullshit.

I'm really hoping that Gaige knows to take the things he says with a grain of salt.

Not that I have to worry about it too much. This all happened a couple days ago and Gaige hasn't talked to him since...and Sperm Donor won't make the first move I'm quite sure.

So this is what I'm dealing with right now. I can only imagine this will end up with some drama. I'm not worried about it, I've got a good support system and a better lawyer ;). But I really hope it doesn't negatively impact Gaige. That kid has been through enough the last few years. He doesn't need that BS too. 

-Kristin