The faces the lady I work with makes when I talk about my kids never cease to amaze me. She looks at me as though I'm one of those moms who just does everything for her kids and they're not going to be prepared at all for the real world. She is wrong of course. I've had other people tell me that I shelter my kids too much, or that I baby Owen too much. They are all wrong. I do not baby him too much...I baby him just the right amount lol.
I refuse to believe that I am spoiling my kids to the point that they will not be able to function in society. If anything, they are more prepared for society because of how we parent.
Take Gaige for example, the kid knows what his interests are and what they aren't. He likes to be outdoors most of the time. He's not a gamer like Owen or a social butterfly like Dawn tries to be. He is happy just being on his own. Personally, I think that means he would most likely do well with his own business, just like my grandpa. He has a way he likes to do things, he has his own ideas about things, and he is quick to let you know when he doesn't think something is right. Had my grandpa still been around now, I fully believe he would have easily been able to teach him how to run the shop and Gaige would have been down for that. And that's fine with me...because it's fine with him. I'm not going to push him to do things he doesn't want to do or won't make him happy in life. I don't want him to be miserable, ya know? Now, of course he's going to have to have jobs he doesn't necessarily like or enjoy at first. He's planning on a paper route this summer in the town I grew up in. He doesn't enjoy the thought of it, but he wants to earn money and since he's only 15, he's not going to find a job doing much else right now.
People think that I'm setting him up to fail but in all honesty, I think he will be a great success once he figures out what he wants to be when he grows up.
When it comes to Owen, he is my baby. I get told all the time that he's not a baby anymore. Well no shit Sherlock. He's ten years old. I know he's not a baby anymore (it killed me a little on the inside to admit that just now). But he is my baby. He gets special treatment, I won't lie. He acts like a kid because he is a kid. I'm not going to sit here and say the kid isn't spoiled. He is. All of my kids are. But he's no more spoiled than say, my nephew. Do we spend a shit ton of money on his gaming stuff? Yes. Why? Because that's what he likes to do! Would be no different if he was into hunting/fishing and we spend a ton on stuff for that.
The kid has his quirks. He doesn't like to be watched while he's eating. Guess what folks? Neither did I at his age (I still don't enjoy it). So do I bring his tablet or phone with us when we go out to dinner or to someone else's house? Hell yes I do! I set him up at a table with a plate, some head phones and whichever device he brought and he eats! I am of the opinion that you do what works for you kid. He's shy (always has been, probably always will be a little), and if watching YouTube or some movie gets him through dinner, then by God he'll have that damn device in front of him the whole time.
And while we're talking about Owen and his gaming addiction, I'd like to bring up that I don't care if you think kids spend too much time on that stuff. I really don't. Why? Because I fully believe that he learned to read so well so fast because he's a gamer. He wanted to play the games his dad plays, but you have to know how to read for those. He is at a fifth grade reading level in fourth grade because of those games. And anyone who tries to convince me otherwise, can shut it.
Something else that kind of irks me that other people judge me for, is how I feed my kids. I was talking to the same lady who gives me sideways looks the other day about what I was going to make for dinner that night. She mentioned roast in the crock pot. I said that I love mine and I need to use it more, but that the boys won't eat most of what I make in it, so I usually end up not using it to appease everyone and only make one thing for dinner. She looked at me and said I hope they like Ramen because that's what they're gonna be eating when they're on their own. Yeah. I was like no, they won't. For starters, as long as they're living if they ever need me to make something for them to eat, they can always come home dinner. Even if I'm just throwing a pizza in the oven for them. Always. Why? Because that's how I was raised.
I was also not raised to eat things I don't like. My grandma made dinner, if we liked it we ate it. If we didn't, we made a pizza or chicken patties, or whatever we were in the mood for at the time. I don't see the issue with this. Do you eat things you don't like? Probably not. I'm not raising my kids in the I cook it, you eat it way of life here. I want happy kids. Not kids who dread meal time.
My grandma didn't cook enough food to feed 20 people so that she would have left overs. She cooked so much food because she fed anyone who was hungry. She made enough to feed the six of us (two brothers, one sister, me, her, and my grandpa), plus chances are an uncle or two would be stopping by for dinner (especially the one getting taken for everything he had by an ex-wife and a greedy baby mama), then there was my cousin who ate with us pretty much every night. And when you're talking about all the people she fed you can't leave out the groups of friends the boys would bring home and who would end up eating dinner with us. That's how I intend to be also. Forever. For as long as anyone is hungry and can get to my house, I will feed them. Because that's what you do for your kids. Why does being an adult mean that you suddenly can't depend on your parents for a meal once in a while? Or even every night when you're broke as a joke?
So no, lady who thinks my kids are going to be living off Ramen and frozen pizza (OK...this one is probably more accurate), they will not.
So that's my rant for today. Not really a rant though I suppose. I was simply educating some people on the way I parent and letting those people know that I am not, in fact, a horrible parent just because my kid is a gamer and my other one likes to be alone most of the time.
I have an idea, you stick to raising your kids, I'll stick to raising mine, and we will see which ones end up in prison and which ones don't shall we?
-Kristin
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