January 5, 2018

{The Internet Is Forever}

I'm not sure how to write this post. It happened a week ago and I'm still seething from it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. But I am convinced that teenage girls are the worst kind of parenting nightmare I have ever encountered.

I would happily take bleeding nipples and diaper blow outs over the drama and BS that come with teenage girls any day.
So for those that don't know (and why would you honestly?) Dawn has been grounded from most technology (without parental supervision) for a long period of time. She had a phone for a while, but because she refused to follow the rules and was on it when she wasn't supposed to be (the middle of the night), she got it taken. She hasn't had a phone for about a year. While she has been without a phone for a long while, she decided that she would get on the playstation instead. At first we didn't think it was an issue, but then we found inappropriate messages between her and several "boys" on chat. Including her full name and she was on the verge of giving out her address to someone also.

For those wondering, yes, we have absolutely talked to her about internet safety. We have preached to all of our children that they should never  give out full names (sticking to screen names would even be better), addresses, or phone numbers. We have also told our teenagers that although they might be asked, they should never send inappropriate pictures of themselves over the internet or through text. Ever. We thought we were doing everything we could to keep our kids safe in a world where the perverts are sitting right there on their phones, gaming system, and tablets.

I bet you can guess where this is going can't you?

Also for those that don't know, I have the passwords to all the accounts my children have. Facebook, twitter, Instagram, Emails. All of it. Even school email addresses.

While Dawn was off of school for Christmas break, I didn't really check her school email. She had no access to it and I didn't think there was much point. Big mistake.

I logged on one day, out of the blue and for unknown reasons, to see that she had used her school email to sign up for a new facebook account, one that I did not know about nor have access to. Now, she had been grounded from facebook (her account deleted) because she continuously made bad decisions on there. I figured she had made the account at her grandmothers house because she had been there a few days (and there is little to no supervision there). Then I logged into the new facebook account and saw that she had pictures of herself from her room at home. Odd. I thought maybe she had used Owens phone to take them.

And then I looked closer. It was a phone I had never seen before. And that's when I realized she had gotten a phone from somewhere. I marched upstairs, where she immediately hid the contraband phone under the covers and said "what?" as soon as I opened the door to her room. I simply told her to give it to me, to which she again tried to tell me she didn't have anything. She dropped it between the wall and the bed, losing the battery. I think she thought if she couldn't find the battery then I would just give up and go down stairs. But I didn't. She found it.

I was pissed at what I found you guys. Pissed and disgusted.

Brace yourselves.

She had multiple facebook accounts. Where she had sent full frontal, naked pictures, of herself to random guys on the internet. And not only that, but she had also told one of the guys her full name. She might as well have given them her address and directions to our front door at that point.

D was told. He was just as disgusted as I was.

We have no idea what to do with her anymore. She doesn't believe that anything bad will ever happen to her. That all those movies she has seen where girls get kidnapped, those are just movies, that doesn't happen in real life. But it does. But she's 15 and she knows everything right?

I emailed her school and asked that she not be allowed on devices through out the school day but was assured that they're taking steps to ensure that she is not being inappropriate on those devices at school. They have plenty of steps in place to make sure she isn't using school time or devices to do anything but school work. But her Dean now knows about our issues with her and will be monitoring her more closely.

At home she isn't allowed on anything without supervision the entire time. We won't even be walking away from her while she's online anymore, because if she's not being looked over, she will do something she's not supposed to 9 times out of 10. It's incredible.

Oh, that phone that she had. Apparently she got it from someone at school but she doesn't know the persons name...yeah..I don't believe that either. So I guess I'll just throw the phone away.

I've also taken to going through her room and back pack at random more frequently. She doesn't like that, I don't care.

I have attempted to point out to her that now that guy has her pictures and he can upload them any site he wants, share them with anyone he wants, do anything he wants with them. But she doesn't seem to understand, or doesn't believe that that kind of thing happens.

I have no idea what to do anymore. None.

-Kristin

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