Isn't that what every teenager screams from the top of their lungs every single day? They want to be trusted and respected. They want to be treated as the adult they believe they are. And as a parent you eventually have to do that. You have to let them go into the world and trust that you've taught them right from wrong and how to be a decent human being. You have to trust that they won't do anything stupid and that they're smart enough to get out of a situation they shouldn't be in in the first place. They scream "trust me!" and "I'm not a kid anymore!". And you learn to not treat them as such and to trust them.
But when that trust is broken its a whole different ball game. They scream a little louder but suddenly you can't trust them anymore. Because they've lost your trust. They've lied to you one too many times and snuck around behind your back too much for you to let your guard down again. And so you start screaming back "earn my trust!!"
And then you play the waiting game. They want to know how long it'll take before you trust them again and you can't give them an answer because you yourself have no idea. There's no time frame for earning back trust. Keeping it is easy..earning it back near impossible.
I can tell you this though (should a certain teenager be creeping on my blog) the amount of time is not a week. Its not 2wks, hell it might not even be a month. Because after all the BS you pulled we don't trust you at all. And why should we?? After being lied to and snuck around behind and you yourself telling us that you would find ways around being grounded (one of which is staying with friends/family and then doing as you pleased from there). You really think that we are going to trust you or them enough to let you do to us the way you did your mom?? Um..no. I wasnt born yesterday kid.
So here is how to earn our trust back. Don't lie. Don't sneak. Don't tell us one thing and do another. Don't try to be shady because we always find out. Always. Keep doing as your doing now. And remember that eventually you'll be glad you learned this lesson. Because even though you and your little friends don't think you needed to, you did.
Good luck other parents of teenagers. You're going to need it.
I just spent the better part of my day cleaning 2 rooms in my house, in between doing laundry. And I have come to the conclusion that I am going about this thing all wrong.
My kitchen table is a catch all for everyone's crap. Be it homework, electronics, books, and random tools D refuses to put away. And I am at the end of my rope with it all. So today I'm making a change.
I cleaned off the kitchen table as best I could today (some stuff just doesn't have an actual home yet) and from now on the table will not be just for piling up homeless items. It will be for eating and doing homework.
This comes on the heels of me having to pick up dishes from the living room. Which annoys the crap out of me. How hard is it to just pick up whatever plate/bowl you just used and take it to the kitchen on the way to the bathroom? Its no harder for everyone else than it is me. Right? Or am I some super human and the dishes are actually super heavy??
Yes, I am admitting that my family does not usually eat at the table. Most often we have a couple in the living room, a couple in the dining room, and usually Owen up stairs. Don't judge me. You know its more common than not these days. No more though.
And while I'm on the subject of changes, I am done picking up after people who can pick up after themselves. I spend more time picking up toys, clothes, shoes, and hot tools than I do anything else when I clean. And I've come to realize that its because my "if I have to pick it up it goes to good will" rule had gone out the window. I was doing pretty good there for a while and then Cassie moved in. And although she thinks she picks up after herself...she does not. I find hair products and hot tools on my dryer pretty much every single day. Its beyond annoying. Especially with her being 17 and I've reminded her more times than I can count.
So we shall start this all over again and see if the house doesn't start getting taken care of a little better.
I hate to be that mom...but I'm counting down the days til I'm an empty nester. That is truth right there.
I do not know what to do with these kids anymore. If its not Dawn getting in trouble for refusing to do her work its Gaige. I would have never told a teacher "no" when asked to do something.Did I play stupid quite a bit and pretend to not know the answer so that she wouldn't ask me again? You bet. But I never just flat out refused to do as I was told. Apparently these 2 believe this is OK. Why I don't know cause telling an adult "no" at home (or at grandmas) usually gets them a pop in the mouth (yeah yeah I don't care if you don't like it it happens). I will not stand for my kids to grow up thinking they can talk that way to authority figures. Be it a teacher or a relative. That shit does not fly with me.
Last week I was picking up Dawn after an after school detention because she refused to do her work. She just flat out refuses to do it and doesn't care if she gets in trouble for it. Then she sits there and makes noises and disrupts the class. I just don't get that at all. If its confusing and frustrating, then say you don't get it. Don't throw a tantrum and think that's how you get out of doing the work. She knows she will have to do it at home or recess if she doesn't get it done at school. Ugh.
And today I had to have a meeting with both of Gaiges teachers because he is refusing to work now too. He hasn't done this since the beginning of the year. We got it handled and now its happening again. And I dont know if its because we are hardly in school anymore or what (due to the weather) but it has to stop. It has gotten so ridiculously out of hand that he is testing at a kindergarten level now and in Sept he was almost at 3rd grade. He just didn't want to do the test and that's all it was. Cause I know he's not at a kindergarten level. So today they decided that because he likes to just sit by himself at recess (which kind of makes me really sad cause he should have friends) and listen to his mp3 player that maybe that could be his reward for a good morning of working. Normally they don't allow electronic devices at recess but they are willing to make that exception if it will motivate him to work. And when I got him in the car I told him if this kept going on his weekends would be spent at home doing chores rather than going to his grandparents house where he wants to be. So yeah. Maybe this will kick him in the ass a littlebit and make him knock it off. Who knows though. I have his IEP meeting in a couple weeks. I'm not excited about it at all.
I'm just at my wits end with those 2. Owen is doing great in school though..
I'm currently 30 (there's a rant all on its own...am I right lol) so I've had quite a while to discover what really annoys the piss out of me. Of course half of theses things have to do with people and therefore nothing can be done about them...but whatever. They're annoying as crap anyway. So here we go!
1. People who chew with their mouth open. I don't know about anyone else sitting at the table (judging by the looks I'm exchanging with them while watching you, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say they aren't too fond of this either) but this just grosses me out. My grandpa tends to do this and even though he's old (in his early 70s) I still tell him to knock it off. I should not be able to hear you eat unless its a crunchy food. And in that case, chew as quietly as possible. For real. Its friggin disgusting.
2. People who do not know how to park. I am not the most excellent driver ever. I'm the first to admit that I can't believe they even gave me my license lol. But its people that can't park between those 2 yellow (or white in some lots) lines that have me all frustrated. Especially during after school pick up. The best spots fill up fast so I get there pretty early. And without fail at least 1 person is parked way too close to a line. And naturally the spot on the other side is wheelchair so I can't use it. *sigh* So I end up having to scoot my car over closer to another car. Its throwing off the whole damn line! Its bad enough that the spots are angled the completely wrong way. Get it together people!!
3. People who don't watch their kids. We had little boys bday party at Chuck E Cheese's last night and omg. Every time I go there I'm reminded why I don't go there more often. There is at least one family with more kids than adults and all the kids are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Its already straight up chaos in there. Watch your heathens people! One kid opened the friggin emergency door by the stage and set off the alarms! His whole party was just sitting there. Watching. Like really people?? Then another kid about G's age asked husband for some tokens. o.O yeah.
4. People who make sexual comments about everything. I grew up with 2 brothers and their friends and plenty of uncles and male cousins. Boys think about 3 things; food, money, and sex. I get that. But constantly referencing my boobs or other body parts or sexual acts is just annoying. I expect it out of teenagers. Not adults.
5. People who only call when they want something. Within the last couple years we have experienced this from mainly 1 person (if you think I'm talking about you...I probably am). Its not only annoying that someone looks at us and only sees a potential shopping trip or concert tickets but its also rude. If you haven't contacted us in months then don't expect us to spend money on you. And just so you're aware...we know when you start calling in Oct that you're letting us know you're still around because of Christmas. Not working this year. #sorrynotsorry
6. Commercials. I don't see why there are so many. An hour long show should not consist of 30min of ads.
7. Tweens/Teens. Need I say more? Lol
8. People who tell me how to parent. I should clarify this, people who have never raised a child, telling me how to parent. I have been around kids my entire life. I babysat kids from the time I was old enough to stay home alone to when I found out I was pregnant with G. I know a thing or 2 about babies/kids. You have not raised a child from start to finish...you have no idea what you're talking about.
9. Parents that try to out do each other. Aren't we all in the same club here? None of us know exactly what we're doing and none of us have the "right" answer all the time. We do what we feel is right for our kids and that's all you can do. End of story.
10. Skinny girls who think they're fat. 110lbs and in a size 4 is not fat.
11. People who say breastfeeding is gross. o.o Shut the hell up you uneducated jackass. How the hell do you think people fed their babies before formula was created? You just sound ridiculous when you say that shit. And it honestly makes me want to get violent. Just saying. And I'm not bashing formula feeders either. G was a bottle baby. I have nothing against that. I don't care how you choose to nourish your child, as long as they're fed whatever. But I don't call formula gross so stop calling my boobs gross. Before WE sexualized them they were used as FOOD.
I think that's enough for now. Don't be surprised if there's another one to follow.