{I Am That Mother}

In recent years I have been criticized heavily for the way I parent my kids and how much freedom I give them (or don't give them). I admit that I'm the definition of a helicopter mom. I want my children to be safe. I want to know where they are and what they're doing. I want to do who their friends are and if they're going to be hanging out with someone new, or a group, I want to know those kids too.


I don't want to leave anything to chance when it comes to my kid's safety.

Overboard? Possibly.

But will I be that mom on the news not knowing where her kid is because I didn't know they were talking to some random person on the internet? No. I won't. At least not if I can help it. And I can.

Now I am well aware of the fact that not everything is in my control. My teenage daughter is a sneaky little shit. Or she thinks she's is anyway. She thinks we don't know that she gets on the PS4 when she's grounded from her phone so she can talk to her boyfriend. She thinks we don't know that she's lying to us when a new number starts texting her that's from out of state and she claims it's a friend from school (this happened recently apparently she doesn't know you can google that stuff...).

We have gone around and around with this girl trying to make her understand that giving out her number to strangers is a bad idea. That it could get her or even her little brother kidnapped. She doesn't listen. She also doesn't care.

So that's why I installed some apps on her phone that allow me to monitor what she's up to when she's out of the house.

For starters, I have the Verizon Smart Family app. It's $5 added to your bill but you're able to see the numbers with whom your children are texting/calling. It also allows you to set time limits, data limits, and spending limits. I can restrict internet access from my phone. I can also turn around and ban the use of apps. It has served me well over the last couple of years.

Then this year I discovered Google Family Link. I could put her phone on lock down completely. Like when she thought it would be a good idea to send inappropriate pictures to random guys on the internet? (Yeah that happened) I banned every single app on her phone except texting and the phone app. And she was only allowed to text/call her brothers, me, or her dad. That was it. I got rid of the camera, the gallery, everything. Just so I knew she wasn't doing it again. She doesn't have access to any social media (on her phone...I'm sure she gets on something when she's not at home) or SnapChat.

Why didn't we just take her phone from her? Oh, we did lol. We've done this many times actually. But we still want to be able to get a hold of her. We like to know where she's at and what she's doing (like I mentioned before). So this was a practical solution to our issue. She clearly was not responsible enough to have free reign of her phone, and I needed to keep her safe (and the boys too for that matter).

These 2 apps work together to help me keep tabs on her. Now, will she have these when she's on her own? No. She won't even have a phone in our name. But while she's living under our roof, she has to abide by our rules.

I am positive I'm not the only mother who believes this. Not even close. For there to be apps like this, that means other parents out there are doing the same thing to keep their kids safe. Could my kids still be kidnapped? Yes. But will it be because I wasn't doing everything I could to protect them and see that that doesn't happen? Hell no.

I'm aware that you can't keep your kids in a bubble their entire lives. I am aware that all three of my kids will eventually be let loose on the world. But maybe with me reiterating over and over how to be safe, I can save them and myself the heartache of something horrible happening to them.

How do you keep your kids safe? Do you monitor their online activity like I do? Do you monitor their phones? Or do you let them do as they please?

-Kristin